Yes! (trumpets blare) It is time for the first game from Zeroware, Inc.! And what do we have for you today? Why, it's the Official Pinstripe Broadcaster Drinking Game! There are actually 3 different versions, and today we'll be gettin' all wavy-gravy with it by sticking to the radio and playing the John Sterling/Susan Waldman version! Woo-hoo! Since Yankee fans are likely to be involved, I've done my best to keep the rules as simple as possible. Review the list of possible occurences below. Every time one happens during the radiocast, take a drink from the beverage of your choice. Since we here at Soxfaninhell don't want to be responsible for the destruction of anyone's liver we won't insist that alcoholic beverages are a necessity, but they will make Sterling much more tolerable. Some of the responses may require more than one drink or an alternate action - you might be best off printing out a copy and keeping it close at hand. Okay, here we go, with the 2006 Official Pinstripe Broadcaster Drinking Game: Sterling version!
Basic version:
Take a drink every time:
1) Sterling makes a simple 5-3 ground-out sound like something you'll see replayed on Sportcenter for the next 4 years.
2) Sterling uses the first names of the Yankees (i.e. Melky, Derek) as if he's a buddy who goes out clubbing with them on road trips.
3) Sterling spends over 30 seconds describing 'Farnsworth's stuff,' as in 'Farnsworth has incredible stuff,' or 'With the stuff Farnsworth has, well,when he gets it together, well, whoo!'
4) Sterling uses one of his frighteningly dorky nicknames for players - 'Alexander the Great,' 'The Giambino,' 'Burn Bernie Burn,' and so on. In fact, drink twice for 'Alexander the Great,' because someone has to pay for that.
5) Sterling gets so excited over something good happening for the Yankees that he sounds as if he had a little accident in his pants.
6) Sterling blows a home run call - "It is high, it is far, it is . . . caught about 10 feet in front of the warning track."
7) Sterling defends A-Rod. Better make this one a half-drink or you'll be unconscious by the 3rd inning.
8) Sterling calls for the deification of Jeter.
9) Sterling makes a mistake, knows he's made a mistake, but chooses to ignore it rather than correct it.
10) Sterling sort of zones out on a play and forgets that on radio, one must describe what's going on. "That ball past A-rod and down the line, fielded by Cabrera as one run scores, here comes the other runner around 3rd, Cabrera throws . . . (10 seconds of silence) . . . so, runner on second and 2 runs in."
11) You miss the uncomfortable yet delicious tension that the booth held when Charlie Steiner was there
12) Sterling gets indifferent to the game while telling a story. "So I said to Joe, 'Joe, you should go!' Oh, ball 3. And Joe, (laughing) Joe being Joe, he says, oh, a walk, anyway Joe says . . ."
13) Waldman's voice exactly matches nails on a chalkboard
14) Waldman gives out of town scores and makes sure the Mets aren't the first NL game, and that the Red Sox are mentioned last unless they're losing
15) Sterling refuses to acknowledge that the Yanks have gotten a break on a bad call by an ump. "After having looked at it a few times, I'm not going to say he was out, but I'm not going to say he was safe, either. (creepy chuckle)"
16) Sterling turns something negative into a Yankee positive. "Well, A-rod struck out with the bases loaded, but he had some real good cuts up there. Real good swings."
17) Sterling goes nuts with the hyperbole on good plays. "OHHHHHHH, that's the play of the year! That's the most unbelievable play you'll ever see!"
18) Sterling praises mediocrity in Yankee pitching. "Well, Ponson gave up 4 runs in 6.2 innings, and that's pretty solid."
Advanced, Experts only version:
1) Drink every time Sterling sounds pompous, arrogant, or clueless. If you make it through 5 innings you need to check into AA, you have a drinking problem.

Feel free to add to the list! Bottoms up!!!